Fear and Loathing in Me

On the drive to work this morning, I was thinking about my hesitation to do things and what really was holding me back.

I started linking ideas in my early morning fog of a brain and realized how strong and crushing the sense of fear can be to a person. Fear not only of failure but possibly even of success. And more importantly, I wondered what it would be like to not be afraid. What could I accomplish?

Recently, there was a web comic strip  where the character sold their soul to Satan to be successful in a sport. And they were successful as the story always goes. Then comes the twist: Satan didn’t really buy the soul. The power to do the thing was always in the character. High Fives all around.

Tie that with a song on the radio where the singer was trying to sell their soul but the devil wasn’t biting and had no interest. Which I would think would be improbable, but that’s a discussion for another day.

While I’m not about to go wandering off looking for the Prince of Darkness or some Crossroads Demon to strike a bargain for something, the intersection of those two thoughts got me wondering “What If?” in relation to fear.

Yesterday, were were having a discussion on how do we manage to take on a less than pleasant or possibly even hard task. Many ideas were presented from visualization of accomplishing the task to flat out ignoring it and hoping it goes away.

I find I often have Eureka moments when I realize what I need to do to get my life back on track and make everything all bright and shiny. Of course, it’s never at a point where I can immediately write down that plan. I get all psyched up for it and then…my brain starts getting in the way. Since most of these moments are while I’m lying in bed getting ready to sleep, I almost think the scared part of my brain goes to sleep first .

And now more than 12 hours later and being consistently busy at work, I’m beginning to realize how often Life gets in the way of my plans for it. 🙂


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